X-Men: The Last Stand (Wicked Little Critta)

¡WARNING: THIS REVIEW IS RIDDEN WITH SPOILERS!

Initial Reaction: Well, it goes to show that they’re right when they say “If you love something, kill it.”

I’ll be honest: X-Men and I were never close. We had been acquainted, but I’d never made any efforts to get to know it. I never really cared until, one day, friends told me that I needed to give it a chance because I didn’t know what I was missing. Thankfully I got to know X-Men, and realized its greatness and potential for making my life better and more enjoyable. I’m glad I have X-Men in my life.

However, as with any love relationship, the potential for heartbreak exists. X-Men and I have had a good run. Things just kept getting better and better, and with a new episode coming out, I anticipated a continuation if not improvement of this honeymoon phase. And in some ways, X-Men: The Last Stand met these expectations. For example, while some were better than others, I feel that the cast was exceptional and kept the high level of acting consistent throughout the film. I even have a hard time listing those that clearly stood out, because no one was lacking, in my opinion. But for the sake of this review, my favorites were: Patrick Stewart as Professor Charles Xavier, Kelsey Grammar as Beast, Ellen Page as Kitty Pryde, and Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut.

I also really appreciated the creativity and seamlessness in representing the various mutant powers. It was clear how each could be powerful in some situations while detrimental in others. This gave the audience a constantly shifting and entertaining focus while not distracting us from the storyline or the characters.

Even though I was warned ahead of time, I was surprised to see that X-Men: The Last Stand carried a weight of finality that its genre of film doesn’t usually take on. We’re immediately drawn into the movie with the opening flashbacks. We see the Professor and Magneto as allies, working together to help a young Jean Grey understand her incredible mutant power and wanting to help her control it. We also see a young boy who is crushed with the fact that he’s a mutant and has to face his father with his shame. After this, we’ve been set up for a decent dose of heavy movie-watching.

So, the story: Jean’s back! Surprise to some, anticipated by others, Jean Grey’s return turns this movie upside down. We’re at first left with a question of “what the heck happened to Scott?” after an odd reunion of the lovers at Alkali Lake is cut short. Once Jean is found and brought back to Xavier’s school, all of a sudden we are told about another side of Jean, literally. Xavier gives us this neat and nicely-packaged explanation about her other personality, the Phoenix, essentially saying that he had controlled Jean’s mind for years so that this other powerful personality wouldn’t get out of hand. Huh? Ok, that kinda makes sense. I guess. By the way, has anyone seen Scott?

Anyway, not much time passes before we meet the Phoenix. It’s weird. Overcome with her competing personalities, Jean goes back to her childhood home and is quickly followed by Xavier as well as Magneto. They both realize the potential for disaster, and so Xavier attempts to prevent it while Magneto wants to embrace it. “You killed Scott!” the Professor shouts at Jean in order to help her realize the danger of what she’s toying with. Whoa! Maybe I should’ve seen that coming, but the screenwriters were just so darn dismissive about it that I denied the possibility. This was betrayal number one. Then, practically in the next breath, (in a move that shocked even me,) the Phoenix kills Xavier in anger. While I’m still confused about where I am and what I’m doing, Magneto steps forward and takes Jean with him, we assume, to “the dark side.”

Geez! That was a lot to deal with, and we’re not even halfway through the movie! In short, The Last Stand is filled with these kinds of betrayals and heartbreaks. Mystique’s mutant gene is suppressed by a “cure” and Magneto turns his back on her. Rogue chooses the cure and loses her power as well. Finally, in the last scenes where the Phoenix is practically destroying anything and anyone in her path, Wolverine speaks to her and tries to win her over. He tells her that he loves her, and in an unexpected move (to me, anyway), kills her.

Ouch. Could someone please remove the 15 arrows sticking out of my back? I guess my big problem with this movie was with Jean Grey/the Phoenix. I don’t care how accurate it is according to her history or the comic book, I didn’t buy it. The fact that Jean, the sweet and kind woman who gave the ultimate sacrifice of love in X2 returns to us as a chaotic killer just didn’t work for me. Yeah, I’ve heard the argument about it not actually being “Jean,” but I don’t care. It sucked. Yes, I’m bitter, but I’ve been betrayed here.

Rating: 9

On a different note, The Last Stand had a very different feeling to me, kind of X-Men combined with Armageddon. A little over the top, too much to absorb, and not as purposeful of a plot as it could have had. This balanced with the cast, creativity and fun action prompts me to give this movie a 9. I walked away feeling hurt; the kind of hurt that comes when a relationship is damaged beyond repair. Sure, sometimes you get lucky and things are better than ever before, but usually not. I’m suppose I’m just unlucky in love. Why, Brett Ratner, why?