Transformers

It seems to be common consensus that this summer at the cineplex has sucked.......hard. Spider-Man 3, Pirates 3, and Shrek 3 formed a money-making trilogy.....of suck. What summer SHOULD be is spectacle after spectacle of pure popcorn entertainment that makes one so happy to go to the movies that they don't care about concession prices. That hasn't been the case at all this year. Until now......it is with great relief (and a little confusion...) that I say Thank God for Michael Bay and Transformers.
Usually viewed as some kind of cinematic Antichrist, Michael Bay is undeniably a lot of things that make for a "summer movie director." He's flashy, bombastic, loves to blow stuff up, and doesn't seem to think anything is too over-the-top. Often, this is a bad thing (Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, The Island), but can sometimes transcend into some kind of accidental brilliance (The Rock). So, he's the right guy for giant robots smashing up cities, right?
For those unlucky to have not been in elementary school during the 80's, arguably the greatest era of toys and cartoons (and toy-cartoons), Transformers were warring factions of alien robots, the good Autobots and the evil Decepticons, who fought and lived on Earth. The movie follows that basic plotline, never forgetting the consequences of giant freaking robots fighting around delicate little humans, which is one of the things that made the old Marvel comic compelling.
Anyway, the plot: A military base in Qatar is attacked by a helicopter that turns into a strange robot that absolutely efffs up an antire army batallion. The government investigates this mysterious attack. Meanwhile, Sam "Spike" Witwicky (Shia LeBouf) stumbles through his awkward teenage existence, crushing on the super-hot Mikeala (Megan Fox), when an odd yellow car he picks (or gets picked by.....) at a used-car lot puts him in the middle of the intergalactic war between the Autobots and Decepticons, etc.
There was a lot that pleasantly surprised me about Transformers. One, was the acting (or some of it, anyway). This movie explained to me why Spielberg has such a boy-crush on Shia LeBouf right now, as he can do the straight-man thing well, demonstrates able comic timing, and does ok in an action setting considering his name isn't Jet Li, Jason Statham, or Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. The voice acting for the Transformers was quite good, especially from original Optimus Prime actor Peter Cullen, and Megatron voice Hugo Weaving, who refreshingly DOESN'T evoke Elrond or Mr. Smith. The dialogue and humor in the film (there was a LOT of humor) was caustic and edgy, and made me wonder if Warren Ellis had ghost-written or script-doctored the film. The writers clearly had a lot of love for the franchise, and did an able job of turning the cartoon into a competent sci-fi/action film with plenty of mystery, light romance, and humor. It should go without saying that the CGI was top-notch, and the action sequences do not disappoint. The next film with giant fighting robots/monsters/tacos/whatever really needs to not screw around if they want to top the spectacle of Transformers.
There are properties that I am an avid fan of (*cough, GI JOE, cough*), but Transformers isn't one of them. However, It really took me back to sit in front of a 60 foot screen, listening to Peter Cullen's impossibly bass-y voice recite the opening prologue film. This could have been a glorified toy commercial, but it's more than....ahem, not going to go there. I award Transformers an admirable 14 out 22 on the 22 scale.