The following is a true story* about John and Jane, your average American movie-going couple. John and Jane headed out one drizzly, humid July evening to the Centerville Cinema to catch a movie. Neither one really knew of any movies in theaters, but John was confident in the possibility of some variation of a race car/horror movie starring The Rock, and Jane was comforted in the knowledge that John would be more than happy to accommodate her preferred movie tastes. After about 15 minutes of meandering through a packed stadium-sized parking lot, they eventually landed in what some might call a “parking space” from which they were pretty sure they could see the theater in the distance. They headed in and hopefully scanned the movie listings and show times. Just as John’s suggestion of Fast and Furious IV was on his lips, Jane exclaimed with glee: “OH! The Devil Wears Prada is playing! I’d forgotten about that one…” she turned to John as though he’d be interested: “You know, the girl from Princess Diaries, and um, Meryl Streep! I’ve wanted to see this. I forgot it was playing!”
And so, John shelled out about $20 on tickets for The Devil Wears Prada, a movie starring women, about women’s fashion, and another $20 for popcorn, soda, sugar-free Mike and Ike’s, and a bottle of water. Jane got in line for the ladies room.
After John had made all of his purchases, memorized all the movies coming out in the next three months, and played a game or two in the arcade, Jane joined him. They were early enough to get fabulous seats.
They waited. Ate 80% of their food, did some word scrambles, and watched previews. The movie starts.
Jane: Wow, Anne Hathaway looks great!
John: Hey, that girl isn’t bad looking. Maybe this won’t be total torture.
Jane: Oh my word, my boss is just like that! Get out now, Andy!
John: What a b*tch. Just punch her!
Jane: Hey! That girl was in Rent!
John: …
Jane: Those clothes are soooo gorgeous. What I’d do to wear Gucci…
John: Umm, is that actually clothing? I mean, is it even wearable?
Jane: (giggles) The gay guy is so funny!
John: That gay guy is pretty funny.
Similar thoughts ran through their minds as the movie continued. They both learned a number of things. Jane learned that doing what one is told to do is always a choice, and a person is responsible for his or her choices. She also learned that size 6 is the new 14, so she had some dieting to do. John learned that there’s a lot of money in the fashion industry, that there are more than five colors, and that it’s never cool to put work ahead of the people you love. Finally, they both learned that sometimes a person needs to give up one good thing to get an even better thing.
All in all, a good movie experience. On the -22 to 22 scale, they rate it a solid 10. Tune in next time when Jane and John watch Fast and Furious IV.
* True, as in “probably happened.”
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